honky tonk badonkadonk

i will never use the first floor restrooms in the SAC ever again.

never ever ever ever ever.

last night, while i was minding my own business and doing my darndest to distract anyone and everyone so that i could avoid studying, i thought to myself, "hey, i need to use the restroom." now i've always felt comfortable using the private bathrooms in the SAC. people have shared with me their anxiety about doing so, but i never paid that any heed. until last night.

[note: allan, on the blog that he recklessly deleted, had many a post dedicated to the proper behavior when using these specific bathrooms. i won't go into it all here, but to summarize: don't knock. why knock? if it's locked, it's locked. if not, feel free to enter.]

i mosey on over to the first bathroom and i begin to open the door. i hear some water running and think, "hmm. that's odd. why would the sink be running in an empty bathroom." I SHOULD HAVE STOPPED THERE. but in typical monica fashion, while asking far too probing of questions or anything else, i don't analyze before i continue. so i open the door fully to reveal a very awkward (freshman perhaps?) young man. and he is peeing. and it is horrible for of us. i think i mumbled something and ran away in shock.

to be honest, i could not pick this guy out of a crowd. the trauma of the event has made my mind a complete blank. and i think that's for the best.


in other news . . . . pirates has ended. i feel sad and happy and relieved and calm and restless and eager. i'm ready for thirteen things to start. and i'm excited that i'm directing two shows back to back that are so entirely different.

don't you just love spring??? I DO!!!!!! and i am counting down the seconds until spring break, which promises to be a delightful wonderful fabulous week. =)

just give me that wink

i love show week.

everything about it is euphoria. before it comes, you work for weeks and weeks and weeks. you tell yourself that the show is never going to come together. you hear other people remark that the show is never going to come together. you don't sleep a lot. you are nervous and discouraged and frankly, scared out of your mind.

and then finally, in the blink of an eye, it's opening night. everything you've worked for falls into place. for me, the sense of euphoria is heightened as a director. each night, i am proud of 35+ individual performances. i go to bed every night with a sense of total joy and accomplishment. i wake up each morning, eager for 7 PM so i can tell the cast how proud of them i am.

i was worried about pirates. it's not the kind of show that i am typically drawn to. and i felt the outcome of the show weighed heavily on my shoulders. i did not want to disappoint dr. dixon or anyone else for that matter. the music is difficult, the show depends entirely on pacing and performance, and it just seemed unlikely that we could pull it off in such a short amount of time.

last night was opening night. and the cast blew the audience away. today, walking from class to class, i heard people singing the music. the seats for friday evening are so coveted that i'm afraid there really might be a stampede at the door.

maybe the audience is reacting with so much enthusiasm because major barbara was such a LOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGG play. you are in and out of pirates in an hour and 45 minutes, intermission included. maybe people like the silliness. maybe the music is more well-known than i anticipated.

whatever the reason, the cast is doing an incredible job. and i am so proud.

off to night #2 . . .

have you forgotten

i think i'm hallucinating.

this week i've "seen" katie kokan, bethany klein, mike barakat and nike baker.

none of the aforementioned people are actually on grove city's campus anymore. but i've been having these crazy moments where i'll really think they're here and i'll almost say hi and then i realize how insane that is and that i'm being a weird pyscho and that if i say "hi katie!" to some poor freshman that doesn't know who i am let alone who katie is, it will make the moment even weirder.

but it makes me wish they were here. and makes me wonder if i'll soon be spotting phil ezzo or chelsea white or diana petras. and this whole thing tells me that I NEED MORE SLEEP.

note: the TLC has spent days hunting me down and it's finally unavoidable: they are taking my computer. i don't know for how long or how many years of my life it will be gone, but i'm gonna miss it. TLC workers, please be good to my baby. (i actually don't love my computer enough to call it "baby" but i want to be nice to it before it goes away, maybe for good.)

let's be us again

it's tech week. that means my life is crazy busy (exceptionally more than usual).

but i'm proud of myself because today was a productive day:
ate breakfast/time with joel/"worked"
read for class
lunch with friends
finished schindler's list (for class . . . what a movie)
dinner with friends
gym
read for class

and tonight starts the beginning of many late night rehearsals. this week may be busy, but it's one of my favorite of the year. everything you've worked sooo hard for all semester begins to come together.

off to pew on this BEAUTIFUL day.

complicated

yesterday afternoon/night turned my day (which had bordered on not so great), into sheer wonderfulness.

one act auditions were incredible. i think last night's auditions may be my favorite of all time. every girl who auditioned was supposed to tell me a story. any story she wanted. any story at all. the experience was fairly incredible; the stories ranged from random to hysterical to heartbreaking. so to anyone who auditioned who may happen to read this: thank you. i so appreciated that you all were willing to open up your hearts to me like that. if only it could be a 20 women show!!

i am so excited to begin this one act. A:LASJLKEOWIKDMSGHSVCKKJD:SK.

also, and i will keep this brief and as non-mushy as possible . . . i have a great boyfriend. i have a really great boyfriend. it is one of my deepest desires that every girl i know and love could be this lucky. but i guess i don't wish that enough that i'm willing to share. =)

i am getting excited about nyc. or should i say, i am getting excited again. i have been doing a lot of job searching online, emailing old contacts, planning a trip to the city, etc. i don't know what God has for me there. but i know He has been there (or at least somewhere!) preparing a place for me. graduation is still a bit scary and overwhelming and SOON, but God has been so faithful in making my four years at college more than i could have ever dreamed. i absolutely trust that He will do the same after gcc.

well back to my new "productive day off." i'm learning to really get things done on the days i don't have class. and i like that.

she said yes

this semester has taught me a lot. it's been a chance for me to really reflect on all these things i thought i was and all the things i hope to be.

if you would have asked me a month ago, "monica, how do you handle criticism?" i can only imagine that my answer would have been completely positive. i've always defined myself as someone who is anxious to learn and grow and become the best version of myself.

but maybe that's not true. i want to believe it is, but i feel like it's really been tested lately. example: this morning, i was chatting with a cast member on my way into the SAC. very off-handedly, he mentioned one of my weaknesses as a director. it's a weakness i already know to be true, a weakness that can sometimes play into a strength (particularly during one acts). i tried to shrug it off, as i know he offered it in a sense of encouragement, but hours later, it is still weighing on my mind.

what i hope will happen is that i'll take this comment, move forward, and try to become a better director. but right now, i feel like i'd rather take a few hours, go back to my room, and let it all out. i want so badly to be a good director; frankly, i want to be the best. but i haven't felt that way in awhile.

tonight we'll cast one-acts. this one-act both thrills and terrifies me. it will be the most difficult piece i've ever attempted in college. i have no idea where to even begin the blocking process for one woman alone onstage for almost half an hour. and it feels strange to have all these feelings of inadequacy surrounding the one acts; the place i feel most at home, most alive and more in control than anywhere else.

deep breaths monica. one day at a time.

you go first

i love vacations. and as i haven't been on very many vacations without my family, i would have to say that i feel particularly attached to family vacactions. i love my mom. and my dad. and my brother. and jen (sean's girlfriend). having a significant other on our family vacations was a bit odd, but not in a bad way. it certainly changed our family dynamic, but maybe mostly because sean is so incredibly in love with this woman and we've never witnessed that before.

i love florida. i love the warm weather. and the beautiful sunshine. and the smell of water. and seeing children fall in love with mickey for the first time. and seeing my mom fall in love with epcot for the thousandth time. i love it all.

i love lorna. she is the kind of friend that everyone should be so lucky to have, and i'm not quite sure how i became so blessed. she is nothing you could expect and everything you could want. spontaneous, engaging, hysterical, encouraging, beautiful, godly, quirky, and just plain lovable. i adore her. i can't believe that after years spent mostly apart, we sit down together and its like no time has ever passed.

i love alligators. i don't know why. i don't really see myself as the "alligator loving" type, but if you could see me in gatorland (cue cheesy commercial voice: florida's BEST half-day attraction), you would become a believer. something about alligators is just so darn cute to me.

i love alone time. despite the family vacaction-ness of my break, there was quite a bit of time that i got to spend alone. i encouraged all the lovebirds (my parents included) to have their special time, which meant a lot of time for me to sit by the pool and just think. it felt fantastic. these past fews week at school have been non-stop and i was really aching for some time for me and God to sort some things out. it felt great to have uninterrupted hours of time when i could just be with me.

that being said . . .

i love coming back. break is wonderful and amazing and it's hard to imagine that in a few short weeks, "break" will be something during which i don't get paid. i loved being alone and being with my fam, but this morning, i felt such complete joy waking up to the sounds of my beautiful suitemates singing in the bathroom. i really missed my friends. and it feels good to be surrounded by them once again.

welcome back everyone.