she said yes
this semester has taught me a lot. it's been a chance for me to really reflect on all these things i thought i was and all the things i hope to be.
if you would have asked me a month ago, "monica, how do you handle criticism?" i can only imagine that my answer would have been completely positive. i've always defined myself as someone who is anxious to learn and grow and become the best version of myself.
but maybe that's not true. i want to believe it is, but i feel like it's really been tested lately. example: this morning, i was chatting with a cast member on my way into the SAC. very off-handedly, he mentioned one of my weaknesses as a director. it's a weakness i already know to be true, a weakness that can sometimes play into a strength (particularly during one acts). i tried to shrug it off, as i know he offered it in a sense of encouragement, but hours later, it is still weighing on my mind.
what i hope will happen is that i'll take this comment, move forward, and try to become a better director. but right now, i feel like i'd rather take a few hours, go back to my room, and let it all out. i want so badly to be a good director; frankly, i want to be the best. but i haven't felt that way in awhile.
tonight we'll cast one-acts. this one-act both thrills and terrifies me. it will be the most difficult piece i've ever attempted in college. i have no idea where to even begin the blocking process for one woman alone onstage for almost half an hour. and it feels strange to have all these feelings of inadequacy surrounding the one acts; the place i feel most at home, most alive and more in control than anywhere else.
deep breaths monica. one day at a time.
if you would have asked me a month ago, "monica, how do you handle criticism?" i can only imagine that my answer would have been completely positive. i've always defined myself as someone who is anxious to learn and grow and become the best version of myself.
but maybe that's not true. i want to believe it is, but i feel like it's really been tested lately. example: this morning, i was chatting with a cast member on my way into the SAC. very off-handedly, he mentioned one of my weaknesses as a director. it's a weakness i already know to be true, a weakness that can sometimes play into a strength (particularly during one acts). i tried to shrug it off, as i know he offered it in a sense of encouragement, but hours later, it is still weighing on my mind.
what i hope will happen is that i'll take this comment, move forward, and try to become a better director. but right now, i feel like i'd rather take a few hours, go back to my room, and let it all out. i want so badly to be a good director; frankly, i want to be the best. but i haven't felt that way in awhile.
tonight we'll cast one-acts. this one-act both thrills and terrifies me. it will be the most difficult piece i've ever attempted in college. i have no idea where to even begin the blocking process for one woman alone onstage for almost half an hour. and it feels strange to have all these feelings of inadequacy surrounding the one acts; the place i feel most at home, most alive and more in control than anywhere else.
deep breaths monica. one day at a time.
posted by monica at 11:21 AM
2 Comments:
understands.
well, not about the one acts part, but about small criticisms that eat at your sense of self, and about this semester in general.)
oh Mon, YOU KNOW I can relate: wanting to know, but then having it eat at you for maybe forever.
This "quality" is not fun to have as a teacher.
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