that's what i love about sunday
i had a horrible nightmare last night.
this is nothing unusual for me, particularly this week, as i've had one almost every night since i've been home. they mostly revolve around college and graduation - things perhaps left unsaid or things i'm worried i've left undone. [note: this always happens post-production as well. the week after i start having nightmares that the show is starting again, all the actors have left, and dr. dixon and i will be performing the whole thing from memory . . . come to think of it, he would really enjoy that.]
but last evening's sleep brought an unexpected sort of nightmare. for some reason, i found myself in a parking lot where a battle between two gangs had started. there was lots of swearing (i think . . . even in my sleep i try to censor the bad words) and lots of fighting and lots of blood. there was even a head on a stick (GROSS). i started to run away, when a frightening man held a gun to my head and pushed me to the ground and told me that i could be next. it was terrifying.
the strangest part of it is, i can absolutely remember what i prayed as i lay on the cold, damp ground. i know who i prayed for. i know what i asked God. i know exactly what i was feeling.
so weird. it's like i've caught a glimpse into a near death experience (rachel, i don't pretend to be the expert you are, though we certainly should talk some time), without any of the real trauma. and it really does give you perspective. it's like i've been allowed to see what is most important in my life.
in other news . . . joel and i are spending the summer in ohio. yippee! though if that sentence had just read, "joel and i are spending the summer in illinois," it would have still been followed by "yippee!" both options were great, things just fell into place here. so i'm headed out to illinois tomorrow and we'll drive back together on thursday. pray that i find a job here . . . it's difficult being overqualified for every job that is willing to hire short-term. more difficult still knowing that i will have to job hunt again starting in just mere weeks.
it's good to be home. weird, but good. i miss college. i ache for all of you. dorm life - there is just nothing like it. currently though, what trumps all the oddness of post-graduation life is my enthusiasm for tomorrow's trip.
write. call. i'll try to answer. love to all of you.
ps - trey - read your blog and it never lets me post comments so i'm writing you on mine, knowing you'll read it. you're not moving to nyc????? what????
this is nothing unusual for me, particularly this week, as i've had one almost every night since i've been home. they mostly revolve around college and graduation - things perhaps left unsaid or things i'm worried i've left undone. [note: this always happens post-production as well. the week after i start having nightmares that the show is starting again, all the actors have left, and dr. dixon and i will be performing the whole thing from memory . . . come to think of it, he would really enjoy that.]
but last evening's sleep brought an unexpected sort of nightmare. for some reason, i found myself in a parking lot where a battle between two gangs had started. there was lots of swearing (i think . . . even in my sleep i try to censor the bad words) and lots of fighting and lots of blood. there was even a head on a stick (GROSS). i started to run away, when a frightening man held a gun to my head and pushed me to the ground and told me that i could be next. it was terrifying.
the strangest part of it is, i can absolutely remember what i prayed as i lay on the cold, damp ground. i know who i prayed for. i know what i asked God. i know exactly what i was feeling.
so weird. it's like i've caught a glimpse into a near death experience (rachel, i don't pretend to be the expert you are, though we certainly should talk some time), without any of the real trauma. and it really does give you perspective. it's like i've been allowed to see what is most important in my life.
in other news . . . joel and i are spending the summer in ohio. yippee! though if that sentence had just read, "joel and i are spending the summer in illinois," it would have still been followed by "yippee!" both options were great, things just fell into place here. so i'm headed out to illinois tomorrow and we'll drive back together on thursday. pray that i find a job here . . . it's difficult being overqualified for every job that is willing to hire short-term. more difficult still knowing that i will have to job hunt again starting in just mere weeks.
it's good to be home. weird, but good. i miss college. i ache for all of you. dorm life - there is just nothing like it. currently though, what trumps all the oddness of post-graduation life is my enthusiasm for tomorrow's trip.
write. call. i'll try to answer. love to all of you.
ps - trey - read your blog and it never lets me post comments so i'm writing you on mine, knowing you'll read it. you're not moving to nyc????? what????
posted by monica at 9:06 PM
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