some other beginning's end
yesterday, november 12, 2005, marked my final theatrical performance . . . most likely for life.
and i feel good.
this week has been a constant roller coaster of emotions . . . overjoyed because the audience seemed to understand the show . . . disappointed that my mom couldn't fulfill my life long dream of telling me i did a great job in a production . . . a sense of loss over the end of performing . . . an even larger sense of loss for those who are graduating, esp. in december . . .
these memories have been relived again and again by rachel, trey and i . . . but heck, i'll put them down here in my blog as well. three years ago, there was huge cast in mrs. craig's west side story. there were a few freshman, rachel, trey, and i included. rachel and trey perhaps met once; they had no idea that i was even in it. heck, no one really knew i was in it. i hid in the corner most of the time and tried to go unnoticed. i cried a lot during that show, mostly over what i felt was the loss of theatre in my life. i didn't sense that i would ever belong here. i certainly didn't imagine i would ever get cast as anything significant here. i felt small and silly and scared.
and then during the final dress rehearsal, something happened that i feel like changed the course of my life. mrs. craig noticed me. she just noticed me. she had watched me during the only scene i was onstage . . . and she liked what she saw, liked it enough to mention it in front of the entire cast. if you know mrs. craig, you know she doesn't give compliments, so it felt huge to me to be singled out in a cast of 60+. and at that moment, the thought flashed in my head that maybe i could actually do something here, maybe theatre could be huge for me here. of course, i quickly dismissed it. but almost a year later, she would give me a role that would change my theatre life forever. and as a result, my whole life changed.
theatre enabled me, both in high school and college, to change from a shy, awkward, nervous, insecure girl into a confident woman. and i think that's where my emotional attachment to it comes from. it's always been a catalyst of change for me.
so thank you mrs. craig. thanks to the entire cast of major barbara. it was an honor to step onstage with you each night.
coming soon: the story of brittany surprising me to come visit. aka, best moment of life.
and i feel good.
this week has been a constant roller coaster of emotions . . . overjoyed because the audience seemed to understand the show . . . disappointed that my mom couldn't fulfill my life long dream of telling me i did a great job in a production . . . a sense of loss over the end of performing . . . an even larger sense of loss for those who are graduating, esp. in december . . .
these memories have been relived again and again by rachel, trey and i . . . but heck, i'll put them down here in my blog as well. three years ago, there was huge cast in mrs. craig's west side story. there were a few freshman, rachel, trey, and i included. rachel and trey perhaps met once; they had no idea that i was even in it. heck, no one really knew i was in it. i hid in the corner most of the time and tried to go unnoticed. i cried a lot during that show, mostly over what i felt was the loss of theatre in my life. i didn't sense that i would ever belong here. i certainly didn't imagine i would ever get cast as anything significant here. i felt small and silly and scared.
and then during the final dress rehearsal, something happened that i feel like changed the course of my life. mrs. craig noticed me. she just noticed me. she had watched me during the only scene i was onstage . . . and she liked what she saw, liked it enough to mention it in front of the entire cast. if you know mrs. craig, you know she doesn't give compliments, so it felt huge to me to be singled out in a cast of 60+. and at that moment, the thought flashed in my head that maybe i could actually do something here, maybe theatre could be huge for me here. of course, i quickly dismissed it. but almost a year later, she would give me a role that would change my theatre life forever. and as a result, my whole life changed.
theatre enabled me, both in high school and college, to change from a shy, awkward, nervous, insecure girl into a confident woman. and i think that's where my emotional attachment to it comes from. it's always been a catalyst of change for me.
so thank you mrs. craig. thanks to the entire cast of major barbara. it was an honor to step onstage with you each night.
coming soon: the story of brittany surprising me to come visit. aka, best moment of life.
posted by monica at 5:30 PM
3 Comments:
what was it about west side that caused all of us to think that we would never do theatre ever again?
reading this blog of yours takes me back to a time freshman year when you were so upset over mrs. craig and how ridiculous she was. (Are you JEWISH?!...LOL) i am so proud of you for sticking with it - look where you are now! the most kick-rear person in the theater department. you've come a long way, my lovely. i knew you could do it! =)
Where's my post, dude?
MB is over (and from what I heard, you rocked. Congrats.), so you can dedicate ample amounts of time to the post.
Happy writing!
Post a Comment
<< Home